This issue of Cold Start Blueprint is brought to you by Boxcar Agency.

Your owned marketing channels—web, email and SMS—should deliver reliable ROI.

If they're not, our conversion copy specialists can help. Boxcar Agency helps growth-focused companies fix leaky funnels with copy that converts. 

Until Aug 7, get a custom “Top 3” Copy Optimizations Action Plan ($297 FREE) for one of your brand’s emails or web pages. Request your action plan here >>>

Most cold emails are shit.

So I pay attention when a cold email can: 

1. Grab my attention 

2. and get me to reply. 

The PressPulse cold emails stood out in the slush pile of shitty cold emails I receive every day.

Admittedly, I have high standards for cold emails that land in my inbox: 

My name’s Carolyn Beaudoin. I’m a conversion copywriter and the founder of a boutique messaging and copywriting agency owner, Boxcar Agency. We specialize in optimizing copy for web, email and SMS.

So… what saves cold emails from the slush pile (and getting marked as spam)?

The copy.

Copy is salesmanship in print. 

When done right, your copy holds the power to: 

• get your reader to open, 

• get your prospect to willingly open their wallet and click “Buy Now,” 

• and compel the reader (who’s never heard of you) to happily reply.

You see, copywriting—conversion copywriting in particular—is writing that’s data-driven, results-oriented, experimentation-minded and psychology-backed. 

In today’s issue, you’ll see why the PressPulse cold email copy is primed to convert—from the subject line to the body copy to the call to action. (Hint: you can apply these conversion-boosting techniques to your own copy!)

The Foundation: Understand your audience

As Elvis said to me: “Your copy has to incorporate your entire list-building process.”

I couldn’t agree more. Generally speaking, we recommend assembling copy like this:

Here’s how it works:

1. Understand your list. Your list is your audience of readers. In the case of cold emails, your readers are the list you’ve created for your campaign. Ideally, this is a hyper-targeted list. (If you’re not sure how to build a hyper-targeted list for your cold emails, check out this issue and this issue to get started.)

2. Align your offer to your list. What does your list actually want? How can you package up your solution—that is, your product or your services—as an offer that’s optimized for your list? For example, if your list is a highly skeptical reader, you might plan to overcome skepticism with guarantees and risk reducers that don't sound too good to be true.

3. Write copy that positions your offer in a way that’s compelling to your list. Copy is the last piece of the puzzle. (This may surprise you, but it’s true.) The best copy can fall flat if it’s not written for the right list or when the offer isn’t aligned with the list. 

Now, maybe you’re wondering:

What do I need to do to understand my audience?

Good question. Complex answer. :) 

You can use a variety of research methods to understand your audience—interviews, surveys, online message mining on social media and forums, chat transcripts, demo and sales recordings, support email threads and so on.

Our recommended starting point?

Talk. To. Your. Customers.

Elvis talks about how to begin this process within the context of validating an idea, so you can ensure you’re selling the right thing to the right people at the right time (critical!). This is a solid start, but audience understanding isn’t a one-and-done effort—you need to keep your finger on the pulse of your audience.

At a bare minimum, you should know how your customer thinks about and describes:

• The dreamstate they’re trying to achieve and why that dreamstate matters to them.

• The obstacles / problems they’re facing as they work toward their dreamstate.

• What they’re currently doing to reach the dreamstate. (The status quo.)

• The anxieties they think about as they contemplate switching from their status quo to a solution like yours.

• What they find particularly compelling about your solution.

You can typically gather these insights in as little as 5 interviews, provided your interviewees are properly selected.

If you’re thinking you might just skip the audience research thing for now, I get it.

Audience research can feel… unsexy. But it’s not a waste of time. Here’s why:

Not only can you use your research to identify, plan and write messages that resonate and convert your audience. You can also use your research to identify bottom-line boosting opportunities that: 

• Boost win rates

• Reduce lead drop-off

• Prioritize high-value features in your product roadmap to better serve your customers 

• Increase product stickiness

• Diagnose (and fix) causes of churn

Audience research helps you replace guesswork with confidence. And it can give you the clarity to make decisions and implement plans that are based on actual buyers. 

Hook ‘em with your subject line and preview text

For optimal performance, each email component should focus on achieving just one goal. For example:

• The from name’s goal is to build trust.

• The subject line and preview’s goal is to get the reader to open the email.

• The first line of the body copy’s goal is to get the reader to read the second line.

• The second line’s goal is to get ‘em to read the third line… and so on.

• The call to action (CTA)’s goal is to get the reader to take the ONE action you want them to take right now. (And which your entire email is selling.)

Of all the different email components to obsess over, the subject line and preview get the lion’s share of attention. Makes sense:

If the reader doesn’t open the email, they can’t convert. Getting the open is mission-critical. 

So let’s take a closer look at the PressPulse subject line and preview, and talk about what’s working well in this piece of copy:

Good Thing #1: Uses light personalization 

Simple on the surface, yet deceptively hard to get right. 

Personalization is a tool you can use to quickly boost relevance… but it’s also the tool that I see go wrong most often in cold emails. 

Here, the personalization doesn’t try too hard. It’s just a mention of my agency’s name:

Notice that the copy surrounding my agency’s name isn’t PressPulse (this is a common cold email subject line combo I see at least a handful of times per week). Instead, the copy surrounding my agency’s name is related to a key effort I’m working on at Boxcar Agency. 

The subject line practically screams “This email is all about you!” which in turn triggers the widely studied self-relevance effect. Good for memory, good for engagement and great for getting the open.

Good Thing #2: Gets specific

Nearly every word that I can see in this view is specific to either myself or my goals around PR. 

For example, I see my business name mentioned in the subject line and I see the mentions of HARO and Forbes in the preview.

This specificity is a signal to the reader that the email is relevant to me and helps me believe that this isn't just another garbage cold email. 

Specific copy also helps tap into the certainty effect, which is a cognitive bias where people prefer outcomes that seem certain as opposed to probable. Specific information provides a sense of certainty, which makes the reader feel more confident in their decision to say yes. 

(Most cold emails are incredibly generic which reinforces the already-held belief that the cold email is being sent out en masse without any real thought to whether the recipient is actually right-fit for the solution.)

Good Thing #3: Drives curiosity 

Based on recent studies, curiosity is a powerful motivator for learning and can be influential in decision-making, so opening up a curiosity loop is a strategic tool to use when writing subject lines.

The combination of relevance, personalization and specificity, plus, the subject line phrased as a question tells me that what’s inside the email is likely to be relevant to me, but I don’t know enough to know what’s inside:

What kind of PR?

Is it bad PR for my brand?

Are you a journalist?

Do you want to feature my company?

The combination of both personalization and vagueness opens a powerful curiosity loop—I need to open the email to close the loop.

Deliver value in the email body

There are no throwaway words in your copy. Every word counts.

So let’s take a closer look, line-by-line, at how every word in the PressPulse email is pulling its weight:

Good Thing #1: Leads with “you” 

Notice how the PressPulse email leverages “you” all over the place:

See the frequency of “you” vs. “we”? Really well done.

Leveraging “you” is one of the most powerful changes you can make to your copy because it allows you to leverage the self-prioritization effect. This is a widely studied effect that shows that our brains will naturally prioritize information when it's related to ourselves. By leading with “you,” you make it easier for your reader to recall the information you’ve shared with them and connect your solution with their wants and needs. 

Good Thing #2: Immediately gets a micro-conversion 

That I know HARO is a fairly safe assumption—the list is built around HARO users afterall. Elvis knew knowing HARO was a safe assumption to make because being a HARO user was a key qualifying criteria for the list. 

Of course, the reader doesn’t know how the list was built—they just know that the statement is true and relevant. And because I can easily agree with the statement, an important micro-conversion occurs.

Micro-conversions—moments of small agreements and engagement with the message—help build trust in the message and can create a sense of momentum. Essentially, a micro-agreement creates a “foot-in-the-door” moment and paves the way for the reader to say “yes” to the final CTA.

Good Thing #3: Leverages specificity 

Mentioning Forbes—a publication that I want to be featured in—is a strong way to leverage specificity, which builds trust and keeps me reading (because I continue to believe that the email is valuable to me). 

Importantly, naming just one publication—rather than include a list of publications—makes the copy more specific which increases believability. Less is more. 

Additionally, the end of the first paragraph concludes with light personalization that’s specific to what my agency offers. Again, the specificity helps to build trust and keeps me reading.

Good Thing #4: Appeals to my ego 

The PressPulse copy includes phrases like “expertise” and “influential voice” which touch on the more emotional aspect of getting press: 

This is essentially a form of flattery without feeling over the top or fake (many cold emails fail at this) and these subtle phrases do a good job of tapping into the reader’s self-enhancement bias (this bias is the tendency and deeply ingrained desire to view ourselves positively—and we like when others reflect that desire as well).

Good Thing #5: Opens the gap between my dreamstate and my current state 

The problem I’m facing as I work towards the dreamstate is that I have limited time and hand-combing HARO queries is an absolute timesuck. (Elvis knows this because he spoke to his audience prior to writing this email.)

By succinctly opening the gap, the email continues to prove its relevance, line after line, which keeps me reading.

Good Thing #6: Proposes the solution, simply 

PressPulse is explained simply in ~1.5 sentences in a way that very clearly solves the problem I’m facing and moves me closer to my dreamstate, again proving relevance. 

In my experience, explaining products simply can be one of the most difficult tasks—especially if you’re a founder writing for your product or service. 

When you’re close to the product—as most founders are—you’re burdened by the knowledge of all the cool, high-value things your product does. As a result, it can be hard to focus on connecting the solution to the reader’s problem succinctly and simply. Elvis pulled it off with aplomb.

Good Thing #7: Varies cadence and pacing 

The mix of sentence lengths and sentence structures helps to keep the reader’s attention as they read from line to line.

Good Thing #8: Uses a conversational tone 

The whole email, from the from name to the sign off feels personal and conversational. Elvis writes like he’s writing to a friend or a colleague—using contractions, sentence fragments and favoring simple vocabulary rather than complex vocabulary. 

A conversational tone helps to lower the reader’s guard and makes it easy for them to stay engaged with your message. (This is key for cold email in particular, where you expect to be emailed irrelevant garbage en masse.)

Get the ‘YES!’ with a compelling call to action

It’s hard to get the ‘YES’ without a compelling CTA. Likewise, as previously mentioned, it’s hard to write a compelling CTA without a strong, optimized offer.

Luckily, PressPulse’s email has both—a strong, optimized offer AND a compelling CTA. :) 

Here’s the CTA:

Here’s why this works:

Good Thing #1: Uses a closed-ended question

This is particularly important for cold emails because of the context: 

The reader didn’t ask you to contact them, so your email is unsolicited. 

As a result, intentionally using a low-effort CTA—a CTA that’s easy for your reader to say “yes” to—is vital for boosting replies.

In this case, PressPulse has opted for a closed-ended question CTA: 

This is a smart choice for a cold email. Closed-ended questions require barely effort from the reader to reply—the choice is essentially limited to “yes” or “no.” This increases cognitive ease and the likelihood that the reader will take action. Based on our experience, closed-ended questions are a strategic tool to optimize your cold email for more replies.

In contrast, consider an open-ended question—like “Thoughts?” This open-ended CTA would require your reader to stop, identify what they’re thinking, then write their response. That’s a lot to ask of someone who doesn’t know you and hasn’t asked you to contact them. 

Note: Intentionally adding friction can be a strong strategic choice to boost the overall quality of your conversions (example use case: call request forms when the sales team is already tapped out).

Good Thing #2: Proactively reduces risk 

Similar to the closed-ended question, because of the context in which cold emails are received, strategically planning an offer that reduces risk and ensuring you mention these risk reducers in your copy are smart ways to optimize your CTA. 

Notice how Elvis reduces risk by mentioning that there’s no cost for the trial and there’s no CC required?

By explicitly mentioning these risk reducers, Elvis has increased his reader’s perception of certainty for what will happen after they reply, which helps to bypass risk aversion—both increase the likelihood that the reader will take action. 

Good Thing #3: Uses low-effort words 

Several of the words used in the CTA make saying “yes” feel low effort:

Similar to the closed-ended question and risk reducers, these low-effort words are signals that increase cognitive ease and help to by-pass risk aversion. You don’t have to go through a 10-step onboarding checklist or change all of their current PR processes—you’re just trying it. And PressPulse will do the work of setting it up for you.

Format for readability

The suboptimal copy layouts can hurt conversions just like suboptimal copy can.

Luckily, PressPulse’s cold email is formatted for readability on desktop:

And on mobile:

According to HubSpot, approximately 55% of all email opens now occur on mobile. So if you ignore mobile readability, you seriously risk your campaigns results.

Here’s a quick overview of why the PressPulse copy formatting works:

• Short paragraphs. Short paragraphs are ideal for text-based emails because they’re easy on the eye on mobile and desktop. Short paragraphs help to ensure your email doesn’t feel like it’s going to be a lot of work to read. This can also make it easy for the reader to spot and consume key info quickly.

• High-contrast CTA via stand-alone line formatting. The CTA is easy to spot because it’s formatted as a stand-alone line, rather than getting buried at the end of a paragraph. The reader can easily see what’s being asked which reduces the effort to take action (which, in turn, is good for boosting conversions). 

• Visual texture. In copywriting, all caps and numbers are a tool that can boost readability because it attracts a skimming eye to key messages. In the PressPulse email you can spot several instances of visual texture in the form of all caps (ex. HARO, CC, etc.), numbers (2024) and symbols (1%). 

8 key copywriting techniques you can swipe now

We’ve covered plenty of ground in this email. To sum it all up, here are 8 key ideas and techniques you can swipe now to start priming your copy for conversions:

1. Start with List > Offer > Copy. Make sure you start by understanding who your audience is, so you can align your offer and write conversion-boosting copy.

2. Personalize with care. Use personalization strategically and ensure that all personalizations are accurate and relevant. (Elvis will be showing you how he used AI to generate each piece of personalized copy in the next issue.)

3. Be specific. Dare to dial in your copy, so you can boost believability and build trust.

4. Lead with “you.” Phrase your copy so it’s predominantly reader-centric, rather than company- or sender-centric. 

5. Format for readability. Writing is designing. Use formatting—short and single-line paragraphs as well as numbers, symbols and all caps (when appropriate)—to help a skimming reader consume key details. 

6. Be conversational. Email is a conversational channel. Your voice and tone should suit the channel. 

7. Bridge the gap between your reader’s current state and dreamstate. Do this simply, so the message is clear.

8. Make your CTA low-effort, low-risk and high-reward, so your CTA is easy for your reader to answer.

Remember: strategic copy is how you stand out in the inbox.

It’s how you get the open.

And it’s how you get the ‘yes’.

Stay amazing,

Carolyn 

Your copy should be your brand’s conversion powerhouse… Is it?

Stop losing conversions. Your brand should have data-driven copy that’s engineered to repeatedly and reliably turn leads into buyers across your marketing ecosystem.

Until Aug 7, get one of your brand’s emails or web pages analyzed by Carolyn. You’ll get a no-obligation “Top 3” Copy Optimizations Action Plan ($297 FREE). 

Request your Copy Optimization Action Plan here >>>